Sorry I've been away for a while. I've been shagging plastic fannies and shoving things up my arse for Scarlet, and I've just about recovered (and will tell you more about it in a bit). But my interest was piqued by this very interesting news story about a Goth couple in Dewsbury who have been banned from riding the bus, due to him leading her about on a dog lead. They're now claiming that the bus operator is being discriminatory, and complaining that he now has to walk ages before being able to let her have a run in the park and a shit in some bushes, before taking her to a pub beer garden and giving her a packet of crisps to open with her teeth. Doesn't he have a hearse, then? She could hang out the side window with her tongue lolling out and all sorts.OK, my thoughts; I have to admit that first and foremost, I'm thinking "Tee hee! Aren't Goths funny!". Secondly, I'm mulling over the bus company's claim that having a Goth on a dog lead is dangerous. Well, I dunno about that, but I must admit that it would piss me off if I was a passenger. There's nothing worse than coming home after a shit day at work and having to deal with some Goth sticking its nose in me Tesco bag and slobbering around what was going to be my tea that evening, or pretending not to notice a rivulet of Goth piss trickling down the middle aisle of the top deck.
I suppose, now that S&M has ceased to become a dark little secret performed by guilty middle-aged Tory MPs and is now practically a saucy leisure option, we're going to see more news stories like this, and it opens an catering-sized can of worms about open displays of sexuality. Would it have been more acceptible if she had him on the lead? What would I tell my nephew if they came on the bus? How would I feel if I was a woman?
I can't wait to hear what this lady has to say about it, but I must admit, right about now, my overriding opinion on the matter is "Tee hee! Aren't Goths funny?"
17 comments:
What do you mean, you're mulling over the claims that it's dangerous? There's nothing to mull.
It's obvious the bus company didn't kick them cause they thought it was dangerous, they did it cause they thought it was weird, and weren't able to accept it.
The statement given by the operators in that news link comes straight from Transparent Socially Acceptable Excuses 101.
"Erm, yes *cough*, customer safety, could be dangerous if..., well, it's absolutely nothing to do with personal prejudice whatsoever."
Obviously S&M isn't regarded as not being a dark little secret everywhere.
I must admit, alistair, I'm mulling over pretty much everything about this story.
Odd how they don't complain that dogs on leads are against health and safety. Surely they'd pose the same problems as a person on a lead?
"he now has to walk ages before being able to let her have a run in the park and a shit in some bushes, before taking her to a pub beer garden and giving her a packet of crisps to open with her teeth."
I thought this blog was supposed to be open-minded? She's not an animal, she's a person with a kink. Laughing at it is going to alienate a fair few people with the same or other 'funny' kinks.
Sure, its a bit odd, certainly not my thing, but YKINMKBYKIOK.
"How would I feel if I was a woman?"
I like the blog, I like your writing for Scarlet, but I have to say: what a stupid question. We're not a hive-mind you know. *Women* don't feel anything, *a woman* however will. And I'm pretty damn certain that individual women's opinions on this are going to be as varied as they are for men.
I hate this kind of question. We're not special, you know.
Im speshul, my daddy told me so!
'Each to there own', and 'whatever turns you on' as they say, but I dont take my kinks on the bus (unless they are discreetly packaged ;) )
Nothing like that ever happens around here.
Then again I guess it may not actually be their kink. It might just be a whiny attenton-grabbing 'fashion' statement. Which, being goths, is kinda likely.
Stupid PC world. But I have to agree, goths are funny. I mean, we've all been through "a phase" of some sort, but I struggle with the concept of goth. And I was a "mosher".
Blacksilk,
I'm glad you like my writing, but come on; I'm paid by mags to give an opinion. I try to be as open-minded as anyone else with a brain, but there are some times when you can't help but say 'No mate, you're being a pillock'.
Assuming that this isn't some sucky kids showing off and being 'alternative', I suppose this story is a prime example of the wiseness of keeping your kinks to yourself. I mean, that couple might have spoken intimately and openly about exploring their deep-rooted fantasies, but to someone standing at the bus stop, all they're seeing is some bloke reenacting the aborted cover of Smell The Glove. The image of a woman on a leash is absolutely loaded with meaning, and to assume that people aren't going to react to it in a negative was is naive at best.
As for saying that I wondered what I'd think if I was a woman, that was a genuine statement. I honestly don't know. I suppose, in an extremely mild way, this is reminding me of Malcolm McLaren getting Sid Vicious to wear a swastika T-shirt in order to 'subvert taboos', and then wondering why people kept trying to beat the shit out of him.
From this woman'spoint of viewI honestly don't give a rats if that's their 'thang' but, then again, I do like to lead male partners around by their cocks! Maybe their real objection is not being able to sit in a public place with excellent vibrations... it certainly used to warm up my morning!
They'll be dressed in top-to-toe Next and discussing fixed-rate mortgages in the next three years, mark my words. Looks like a showy-off phase to me. I'd guess that even couples in a TPE scenario wouldn't want to act out their lifestyles on a bus in Dewsbury, or anywhere else for that matter.
Maybe it's not a kink. Maybe it's nothing to do with ownership or sex at all. Maybe it's just a rather random choice of wear. Or everything else was in the wash.
It really does not matter if it is "safe" or not.
If it is about sex then it should not be done in public as it breaches the level of sexual behavior appropriate for a public space. Additionally, even if it is not about sex, the people on the bus have not consented to seeing that and sex, specifically S&M, is all about consent.
In many places in the States it is illegal to lead another human on a leash due to safety concerns. I have always thought it was crap here too, but the fact that the act is or can be sexual makes it not ok regardless of legality.
I must say that I agree with Blacksilk in that I found your comments having to do with the young woman being a dog insulting both as a person who practices S&M and as a woman. Clearly, you know enough that you know that is not what being lead on a leash is about if it is a sexual act, and if it is not, comparing a woman to a dog for any reason is in poor taste.
Just my 2 cents.
I would have made her caress her boobs as well.
"There are some times when you can't help but say 'No mate, you're being a pillock'."
For a dress sense and a silly way of life, yes. But if its a kink, then I wouldn't mock. You don't exactly choose them.
"The image of a woman on a leash is absolutely loaded with meaning, and to assume that people aren't going to react to it in a negative was is naive at best."
It shouldn't be loaded with meaning. It should have no more or less meaning than a man on a leash. Or any other type of person you can think of.
"As for saying that I wondered what I'd think if I was a woman, that was a genuine statement. I honestly don't know."
Of course you don't know. That's because you can't guess what a given woman would think in any situation. As I say, individuals, not a hive mind. Our gender does not tell us how to think.
Personally, I didn't think it was specifically a Goth thing. I'm sure plenty of non-Goths have been led around on leashes in public... I know I have. Although, I admit it, there was no shitting under bushes in parks involved.
But yes, I suppose it does bring up the question of what is and should be acceptable in public. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with the leash thing, but I guess they'll draw a line somewhere.
Well, I agree with Devin. When part of your kink involves exposing it to other people, you´re making them part of it without their consent. Not that I think it´s horrible in this case, but I do think telling random people in the street what´s your kink of choice is a form of invasion, not to mention incredible bad taste.
Oh for Heaven's sake! Isn't this getting a little handbags-at-dawny? The piece was written with tongue firmly in cheek and Alistair's bewildered comment that he didn't know what the woman was thinking of was not in any way sexist.
The facts of the matter are that a) the bus company came up with the best excuse they could find in a hurry, probably not really knowing what they were objecting to and b) the couple involved have rank bad manners for forcing themselves on others in this manner. Neither party comes off very well.
One thing that struck me reading the comments though: all the discussion is about the girl, whether she is subjugated/demeaned/empowered etc. No-one has mentioned that the lad is dressed like a complete moron. What on Earth is HE thinking of? Presumably a form of rebellion which, sadly, is utterly formulaic. Clair's analysis is spot on!
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