Listening is one of the most powerful flirting tools that you have in your arsenal. Yet often it is one of the most underused.
Essentially, people like people who listen to them. Or rather, mostly people like to talk, and like to have people listen to them. It makes them feel important. It makes them look good. And what is particularly strange, is that if you spend an entire conversation listening to someone, usually they will remember the conversation as being terribly interesting, and you having made some fantastic points.
Most people think they are listening, but don’t realise the impact they have when they withdraw their attention from someone.
Words that people use when describing how they feel when the person listening are all terribly positive. They feel listened to, important, they enjoy the conversation and feel very positive towards the person who is listening to them. They describe the experience as being much more focused, and find it much easier and more enjoyable to carry on the conversation.
Compare that with when conversation is withdrawn. Often people use the terms ‘arrogant’, ‘angry’, ‘infuriated’, ‘worthless’ – one person actually said they wanted to slap a person who wasn’t listening to get their attention! Also very interestingly people actually find it much harder to speak, they lose track of the conversation and their thoughts. The whole experience is very unpleasant when someone is not listening.
This is the power of listening. Simply by paying completely attention to the person you are listening to, you will massively boost their impression of you and the positive associations that they have with you. And really this is fundamentally what flirting in everyday life is about. It is about making the person that you are talking to feel good, so they enjoy the conversation and then they will see you in a brighter light.
Essentially, people like people who listen to them. Or rather, mostly people like to talk, and like to have people listen to them. It makes them feel important. It makes them look good. And what is particularly strange, is that if you spend an entire conversation listening to someone, usually they will remember the conversation as being terribly interesting, and you having made some fantastic points.
Most people think they are listening, but don’t realise the impact they have when they withdraw their attention from someone.
Words that people use when describing how they feel when the person listening are all terribly positive. They feel listened to, important, they enjoy the conversation and feel very positive towards the person who is listening to them. They describe the experience as being much more focused, and find it much easier and more enjoyable to carry on the conversation.
Compare that with when conversation is withdrawn. Often people use the terms ‘arrogant’, ‘angry’, ‘infuriated’, ‘worthless’ – one person actually said they wanted to slap a person who wasn’t listening to get their attention! Also very interestingly people actually find it much harder to speak, they lose track of the conversation and their thoughts. The whole experience is very unpleasant when someone is not listening.
This is the power of listening. Simply by paying completely attention to the person you are listening to, you will massively boost their impression of you and the positive associations that they have with you. And really this is fundamentally what flirting in everyday life is about. It is about making the person that you are talking to feel good, so they enjoy the conversation and then they will see you in a brighter light.
