Back to my favourite social anthropologist Kate Fox (by the way, shameless plug, if you are not British you must read 'Watching the English' which made what seemed like a peculiar mess crystal clear – suddenly I understood. If you are British you should read it and you might understand yourself and fellow Brits too!).
Kate Fox specialises in watching people and discerning the underlying social rules by what people do. So being a sexpertly type of course first thing I did was turn to her section on what are the rules in the British Bedroom.
Now let me say that before this I hadn’t really thought about how there were different rules in different nationalities bedrooms. Of course everyone is an individual, but there are definitely national differences. For instance, I realised (from anecdotal and personal experience) that the Australian rules in the bedroom for men were essentially meat and two veg. Basically Australian men stick to the basics and might throw in a bit of oral as a really special flourish.
What is really interesting about the Brits is that even though they are so polite on the outside, they stand in line and love to stick to the rules, in the bedroom there are no rules. The bedroom is the one place in Britain where you can pretty much do anything you want and it is ok. As long as you don’t have an embarrassing conversation about it in the morning. This was a very surprising aspect of the British persona, and seems to be backed up by the proliferation of Kinky stuff that the brits tend to get up to in the bedroom. I was pretty surprised when I came to London to find how common BDSM and swinging was, and even that there are whole brothels devoted to men dressing up as babies. What a contrast to the stiff British upper lip! You wouldn’t find that in Sydney, as far as I know anyway!
Maybe its all those rules that make Brits want to have a place where there are no rules – look at the Japanese. They have in many ways a very similar, highly polite, socially controlled society, but man are they Kinky! Have you seen their Manga? And as Al has been pointing out they are the world leaders in producing new and innovative sex toys.
So what have your experiences of the rules in the British bedroom? And for our international readers what are the rules in the bedroom of your country?