See, this is what happens when you don't keep your sex blog updated: a young pretender jumps in and knocks you out of the saddle. Warning: possibly not suitable for work, and definitely not suitable for eyes;
So let's review the art of, ahem, 'Pu$$y Eating', in case you missed anything;
1. Put on the kind of music you'd hear at a Berni Inn, or the lobby of the Crossroads Motel
2. Mouth the words 'I Love You', in the style of Derek Smalls during the middle eight of Listen To The Flower People
3. Sensuously suckle upon your partner's massively long forked clitoris
4. Pretend to have taken a sheet of LSD the size of a queen-sized quilt cover
5. Mash the breasts that have suddenly appeared around your partner's fanny
6. Generally, as my Nana used to say whenever I was playing Pac-Man on the Atari, 'not hold your mouth right'.
Update: And ladies - if you've ever lain abed at night fantasising about men erotically eating a miniature hunk of Lidl stollen to third-division Techno, your wish is my command...