Thursday, 22 October 2009

Sex Toy Review: Tenga Flip Hole Black

Now, if you've had the slightest read of Todger Talk, you'll know that we stand four-square behind the following truths;

1. Sex is natural.

2. Sex is good.

3. Not everybody does it, but everybody should.
4. Sex is natural.

5. Sex is fun.
6. The Tenga Fliphole is the best male sex toy in the world, bar none.

How so? Let us count the ways in which it rings all the bells; It doesn't look like a hacked-off bit of lady-bit, it does things to your manhood that no human can, and - most importantly - it's a piece of piss to clean. For anyone who owns one, it's the best thing you can do to your nob bar giving it a regular wash and not trapping it in lift doors. So much so, in fact, that it seems impossible to improve upon.

So when I was alerted to the fact that they've brought out a new one (finished in black), and asked if I'd like to have a bang on it, my immediate answer was 'Really?' and 'Hell motherflipping yes'. And here it is...

Instruction Sample:
Actually, I can't remember getting one, as I mangled up the packaging in a frenzy to get at it. You don't need one. It's a sex toy. Locate hole, lob in your giggle-stick, and the rest writes itself.

You will also need: A stand-by supply of lube. As before, there are three sample stoppers of Tenga's very own Real, Mild and Wild lube, but unlike other sex toys (that get shoved so bar back into the wardrobe that they end up somewhere in Narnia), this is something you're going to want to use long after the samples run out.

Looks like: Something that is NONE MORE BLACK. No longer does it resemble a room deodorizer - it now takes on the shape and form of a ridiculously expensive 7" speaker. Leave it on your living room shelf, and your mates - who would have taken a tentitive sniff at it before - will now strain their ears towards it. But the really important developments are inside, as Tenga have completely - fnarr - retooled what is known round here as the Nobsticle Course. Cop a load of this;

Feels like: Well, as you can see, they've gone heavily for the Toblerone look for your shaft, before encasing your bell-end in a tight cocoon of nobbles, bobbles, ribs, ridges and fronds. Imagine that you were a giant, and you decided to have penetrative sex with the world's most expensive bouncy castle. That's exactly what it feels like. And yes, it is better than the original.

Again, dead easy; slide out the side bits, open the clam-shell, rinse it out, prop it up on the side-bits, leave to dry.

Partner compatibility: Er, no.

The best male sex toy in the world now looks and feels better.

Cons: Bit more expensive than the original, but extremely worth it. Look out, all you plastic fannies, rubber arseholes and grubby wank-sleeves; there is a new king in town.

The Tenga Flip Hole Black, £79.99, kindly provided by


Jake (of Facts and Friction) said...

Fantastic review, I love Toger Talk's style of writing.

Harriet Handley said...

I wish i had a penis!

Anonymous said...

I want to get my boyfriend something special for his birthday but don't think he's ever tried masturbation sleeves (I should ask). Anyhow I was thinking of getting him the tenga egg or one of the disposable tenga sleeves to try out for his birthday, if he likes it maybe go all out and get him this for xmas. What would you pick out as a first male sex toy?

Harriet Handley said...

I've heard alot of good things about the tenga eggs. I work for a company called LoveHoney and we have a few different styles. As i don't have a penis i couldn't give you a personal recommendation, but we have lots of customer reviews so you can see what other men have been saying about their experiences. Plus there are videos on how to use them (i was a bit baffled by them at first. how is a penis supposed to fit in an egg?! then it all became clear!) plus they aren't too expensive so if he didn't like it at least you wouldn't off blown a wad of cash. And if he does like it then all the better at xmas when you get him the flip hole black. Oh i do wish i had a penis! just for a day!
here's the link if you fancy taking a look

Spandrel said...

Anon 21:24
I bought the Prostate Pro 5 on the strength of Todger Talks review.I'm very happy with it,even though it looked very scarey at first.Produces very srong orgasms-I'd even say that without it,orgasms are disappointing.
If he doesn't like it,I'm sure you could get some pleasure out of using it yourself.
Shop around before you buy.I bought it online from Lovehoney at half the price Simply Pleasure were charging in their shop not 10 minutes walk from me.It arrived 2 days after I paid for it.They also let you pay by cash into their bank account if you don't want the transactions showing up in your bank statements,or don't have plastic money.I'm sorry if I sound like an advert for Lovehoney,but buying this toy was the reason for my fist venture into an adult shop.I found it quite embarassing to walk in-I must have walked past it a dozen times before I opened the door.Then I get that awful BEEP-BOOP electronic door chime that announces new customers :(
Compared to their online catalogue,their stock was limited,and the prices bore no resemblence to thier online prices.
Prostate pro was 30 quid in the shop.I paid 15 online.I haven't been back to the shop.

spandrel said...

My stupid fat fingers can't spell.
strong not srong orgasms,first not fist venture LOL.

Tenga Fliphole Sex toy said...

Tenga Fliphole sex toy is cool said...

Tenga Flip hole and tenga egss are highly recommended.

Tara said...

We dead?

Anonymous said...

I left my wife for the Tenga Flip Hole Black. It doesn't talk back.

...Nessy... said...

Any Reviews of the Tenga Egg???

Nottingham's 'Mr Sex' said...

Indeed there is;

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Ryan Boyles said...

Thanks for explaining why Tenga Fliphole is the best male sex toy in the world. Without further ado, I’ll ask my wife if we could buy this toy.

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