Instruction Sample: It's mainly in Japanese, so I'll have to take a guess: 'Cheepy Cheep Cocky Happiness', or something. They come in a choice of three; Wavy, Spider and Clicker, which is the one I went for, seeing as the words 'Spider', 'Egg' and 'Genitals' made me feel a bit queasy.
You Will Also Need: Nothing else but a bonk-on. Once you unwrap it, you discover a complimentary sachet of lube.
Looks Like: On the outside, an oversized and very modish Kinder Surprise. On the inside, a very small silicone hood studded with nobbles. I cannot stress how small it is, people. This is probably the first sex toy I've ever reviewed where I've said "Hang on...my cock is much too overwhelmingly massive for this."
This automatically gets it a shitload of bonus points.
Feels Like: a very stretchy, ridiculously effective wank-sleeve. Although it's the least complex Tenga out there, the nobbles definately do their, erm, jobble when you dip your soldier in there. The extreme thinness of the material means that you're going to be a bit tentative at first, but you soon discover that it stretches like a bastard. Check this video here for further details.
Clean-up: As far as I can see, it's another one-shot deal. When I ran it under the tap, the hot water melted a hole in it, so be warned. You could use a johnny if you were a bit mingy, but where's the fun in that?
Partner Compatibility: There's no chocolate inside or a self-assembly Smurf, so none whatsoever.
Pros: Easily the best mini-toy on the market. You can keep this in your bum bag, if you still believe it's 1989. And you can store your drugs in the casing afterwards if you're that way inclined.
Cons: You may have to change your choice of breakfast.
The Tenga Egg, £9.99, kindly provided by Lovehoney.co.uk