Sex, relationships and a good laugh without the bullshit, bravado and misinformation
Monday, 20 October 2008
Something for the ladies # 24
Ladies: If there's ever been anything about men you've wanted to know but were afraid to ask, or wanted a male viewpoint on a certain relationship niggle you're going through, drop an email to us at todger dot talk @ googlemail dot com. We shall pick one out and answer it to the best of our capabilities.
This week's question. . .
Miss A writes: I've always assumed that guys prefered the head of their cock to be stimulated, but I recently read in one of your posts that stimulation of the base of the cock was where it's at. Where should I be focusing my attentions?
‘Mr Sex’ says: OK, put it this way; remember when you were a certain age, and starting to dabble in thingy whatsit, and you were involved with some equally inexperienced lad who knew all about the clitoris? And how he went for it every time, ignoring everything else? Got boring after a while, didn’t it?
So it goes when you tussle with a lady who assumes that one’s nob is nothing more than the bit of meat that hangs out of your trousers. Thing is, our bits are just as complicated as yours; it’s actually an amalgamation of three column of erectile tissue, with a shitload of nerve endings all over the shop. Yes, most of them are situated at the tip, but not all.
What I was saying is that the shaft, although nowhere near as sensitive as the tip, can be criminally neglected sometimes. For one, it can take a lot more teasing – so if you’re desperate to use your teeth on something, that’s the best place. As for orgasms, think about it this way; when you’re being penetrated, what part of his penis is being gripped firmest? That’s right – the base.
I mean, this is all personal preference. I find that when I’m being fiddled with by someone, my orgasm is much deeper when she’s concentrating attention on the shaft near the end. Different men will have different preferences. Best thing to do is to experiment – but allow him a bit of a rest in between, eh?
Sam says: Focusing on just the head is like just eating the icing off a cake; there is a lot more to be enjoyed!
Brilliant sexpert Tracey Cox in her book Hotsex got advice from high-class prostitutes who specialise in giving the best blow jobs in the business. Her ten step guide to the best oral he's ever had include:
Lots of foreplay – your mouth shouldn't get anywhere near his penis until it's rock hard
Vary the scene – men are very visual, so vary what you are wearing and where you do it, hold eye contact and narrow your eyes and make them smoulder
Don't just concentrate on his penis – his testicles, anus and perineum are all hot zones you should pay attention to.
Use your hands – always use two hands during oral, one to stimulate him elsewhere (nipples, testicles, anus) and the other on the bottom of the shaft of his penis, so it feels like you are 'deep throating' him.
Step up the stimulation – the male g-spot is 3 to 6 cm inside the anus and by inserting a finger you will make his orgasm more intense
I can hold my hand up as a man and say, YES, YES, YES to all of the above. A blow job is really in no way just about the head of the penis, it makes it much more intense and enjoyable if you focus on stimulating everything else too!